Catch is Caught

So few words.

I have so much to say, and so few words.  Most days, I feel like I might literally implode from trying to adjust to all of the changes going on in my world; however, I haven't yet found the right combination of words to accurately convey even the tiniest bit of what I've been doing, feeling, seeing.  Hopefully as I get settled, I'll be able to write here again.  Don't get me wrong- I'm not depressed, despairing, or even wishing I could escape my life.  On the contrary, in fact, I'm loving my new job and my new home.  But because of the nature of the hospital that the Emergency Department I work in is attached to, day in and day out I'm seeing literally every end of the emotional spectrum. From child abuse cases (we're the regional child abuse referral center), to terminal oncology kids (they're admitted through the Emergency Department), to unexpected trauma (we're the regional level 1 pediatric trauma center), all the way to the good... to the parents who stay by their child's side, who know every last medication dose and time, who have lists of their child's feeding times and medication schedules, who never leave their child alone for even a second in the hospital... regardless of the fact that their child's condition will never change, or is degenerative, or that their child will never reach developmental milestones after 2 years of life.  I simply have not had time to adjust to it all. I'm just going day by day... for now.   Stay tuned though, I'll be back someday soon.
--Catch

July 2007 12 of 12!

My first 12 of 12 in the new house!!! I actually did the May and June 12 of 12s, but I was so busy graduating and moving that I never posted them.  Plus, I didn't have internet for a loooong time after I moved to Baltimore. It was annoying. 

Click here  for this month's 12 of 12 (or click on it from the right sidebar).  Also, an update from my comments on the pictures... as of this morning at 10am... I HAVE PASSED MY BOARD EXAM!!!

Now I can focus on San Francisco!!! I'm going on vacation to San Francisco, leaving this weekend.  It'll be my first non-African trip in four years!! And I've never been to SF before, so if anyone has any suggestions on what to do once I get there, let me know!!!

Peace,
Catch

NCLEX Hell

I took the NCLEX today (my board exam).  Threw up once the night before, twice the morning of, during the test once...from nerves.  This blows.  I keep on trying to tell myself that it's only  a test, it can't change who I am, and it doesn't make me a bad person if I fail...but  really, who am I kidding? I'm definitely not listening to myself, and the unfortunate consequence of being in midst of this life-changing limbo scenario means that I have absolutely no objective or rational perspective on the situation.  Oy.

Hopefully, I will get my results on Friday.  I'm completely exhausted, but still so wound up and nervous that I can't sleep.  It's almost worse now that it's done, because there's absolutely nothing I can do except wait.   I'm going crazy over here.

In other news, after FOUR trips to the Motor Vehicle Administration, I FINALLY have my car titled and registered in Maryland.  Here's to hoping that the loss of my New York plates doesn't lead to an identity crisis. 

More tomorrow.  I may even get to do my first "12 of 12" from my new house in Baltimore!  (I have to find my camera charger first.  I don't actually ever remember unpacking it, so here's to hoping it's around somewhere).

Peace,
C

BGE

Dear Baltimore Gas and Electric,

Screw You.

Sincerely,
Catch

Oh, Maryland.

I am now officially a resident of the state of Maryland.  I reluctantly surrendered my New York state license, and traded it in for a significantly less-aesthetically-pleasing Maryland one, voting rights as a citizen of Maryland, and a place on the Maryland State Organ Donor Registry.

And, in case you were wondering, the DMV is just as miserable in Maryland as it is in New York.  The only difference is that in Maryland, it's called the MVA (Motor Vehicle Administration), and the people waiting along with you seem a bit more friendly. 

Now, I just have to get my car inspected in Maryland so that I can title and register it here, and then I can be done with the MVA and get my parking permit from the parking authority. I swear, I'm never moving again.  I mean it this time.

 

Yeah, right.

 

:o) Catch

UPDATE: 6 July 2007: 
     1) In case you were wondering, my birthday is now June 19th.  The Maryland MVA decided to put the 19th, not the 9th, on my license, and I'm fairly sure it's easier and less painful to just change my actual birthday, instead of changing my damn license. Screw you, Maryland!
     2) After waiting on line for two hours to title/register my car in MD, I get sent away because I don't have  a goddamn notarized bill of sale for my car.  Again I say, Screw you, Maryland!

Gah.

Hey, you know what's frustrating?

Friggin re-syncing your iPod.  Especially re-syncing video.

Gaaah.  I hate technology.

--C

Oh, to rejoin the world once again!

I'm back!!! I FINALLY got internet, phone, and cable in my new house...all in one day!  It's been such an incredible nightmare to get everything set up and installed.  Moving is such a horrendous process.  I wish I could swear that I'd never move again, but unfortunately I'll probably be moving many times within the next ten years. 

It's so nice to have rejoined the world!

Peace
C

Moving

Sorry I've been quiet - I'm in the process of moving, and I don't have access to the internet at my new house.  Hopefully I'll have internet up and running within the next two weeks.

Till then, this is what I've been up to:

Hoya Saxa

and, babysitting Sammie (my sister's new puppy), during the weekdays:

She's more trouble than she appears to be in this picture.  Puppies are full of all sorts of badness.

Peace,
C

Growing Up Part II

        Change is good.

        Even when it's bad, something positive always comes out of it, if you let it. 

        I know this.  And yet...

        Transitioning is tough.  Life is taking its very large hand and pushing me forward.  I know I'm ready, and I know that this is going to be the start of an amazing, new chapter in my life.  But honestly, I'm also scared shitless. The unknown is daunting.  When I think of the past four years, there were of course ups and downs, moments when I was on top of the world and moments where I wasn't sure I could fall any lower.  But through it all, I was learning and growing.  I discovered myself and my passion, over and over again, in Africa.  I learned more than I ever thought I could, both in and out of the classroom.   I found myself changing as I continually met and interacted with new friends and professors, who both inspired me to follow in their footsteps, and challenged me  to re-evaluate the values and ideals of which I was so certain.  I discovered just how far I could push myself before I toppled over.  And through it all, I had an incredible group of friends.  Even the ones who weren't roommates, or close confidants, they saved me, every day.  You don't realize how much it changes your day just to share laughter, share anxieties, to share both the routine and the extraordinary.  We remember momentous events with great clarity, but it really is those in-between moments, those conversations between classes, in clinicals at the hospital, at the coffeeshop, the study breaks, the Friday night movies, the shared understanding of the stress of studying and exams, the friends who make you laugh when they don't even know you're down... those are the things that make this experience incredible.  These are the reasons we get up and start our day, go to class and clinical and work - because we know that what we're doing is not only worthwhile, but that we also have friends to share it with. 
        And I'm ready for change.  I'm ready to embrace my job and my life full-force, to continue learning and experiencing and meeting people, to find another niche within this world that I can slide into, and make my own.  When I think about my future, and the future of my friends, I'm so incredibly excited.  There is so much for us to give and to receive.  I can't wait to see where we wind up, and what we wind up accomplishing. 
        But, it's hard to say goodbye.  It's hard to leave the safety net we've developed over the past four years.  I know it's going to be even more difficult as I start my new job.  And in the first few months, when my safety net is gone and everything in my life is incredibly new, it's going to seem impossible.  I will keep reminding myself that this is how change is - it just sucks, until it just doesn't.  I've transitioned enough to know that it's rough in the beginning, but then it falls into place, and before we know it, we've developed a new net and a new life for ourselves.  That's the incredible thing about change - mostly, we don't realize that our lives are better or worse, until they just are. 
        And so, I'm starting this journey, decisively stepping forward, but never forgetting to look back and remember where I came from, the ideals that I hold dear, and the family and friends whom I love with all of my heart.

--Catch

Growing Up

Convocation was today.  Pinning ceremony tomorrow.  Graduation Saturday.  Moving to Baltimore next week.

I guess I have to grow up now, huh?  Damn. When did that happen?

--C