Change is good.
Even when it's bad, something positive always comes out of it, if you let it.
I know this. And yet...
Transitioning is tough. Life is taking its very large hand and pushing me forward. I know I'm ready, and I know that this is going to be the start of an amazing, new chapter in my life. But honestly, I'm also scared shitless. The unknown is daunting. When I think of the past four years, there were of course ups and downs, moments when I was on top of the world and moments where I wasn't sure I could fall any lower. But through it all, I was learning and growing. I discovered myself and my passion, over and over again, in Africa. I learned more than I ever thought I could, both in and out of the classroom. I found myself changing as I continually met and interacted with new friends and professors, who both inspired me to follow in their footsteps, and challenged me to re-evaluate the values and ideals of which I was so certain. I discovered just how far I could push myself before I toppled over. And through it all, I had an incredible group of friends. Even the ones who weren't roommates, or close confidants, they saved me, every day. You don't realize how much it changes your day just to share laughter, share anxieties, to share both the routine and the extraordinary. We remember momentous events with great clarity, but it really is those in-between moments, those conversations between classes, in clinicals at the hospital, at the coffeeshop, the study breaks, the Friday night movies, the shared understanding of the stress of studying and exams, the friends who make you laugh when they don't even know you're down... those are the things that make this experience incredible. These are the reasons we get up and start our day, go to class and clinical and work - because we know that what we're doing is not only worthwhile, but that we also have friends to share it with.
And I'm ready for change. I'm ready to embrace my job and my life full-force, to continue learning and experiencing and meeting people, to find another niche within this world that I can slide into, and make my own. When I think about my future, and the future of my friends, I'm so incredibly excited. There is so much for us to give and to receive. I can't wait to see where we wind up, and what we wind up accomplishing.
But, it's hard to say goodbye. It's hard to leave the safety net we've developed over the past four years. I know it's going to be even more difficult as I start my new job. And in the first few months, when my safety net is gone and everything in my life is incredibly new, it's going to seem impossible. I will keep reminding myself that this is how change is - it just sucks, until it just doesn't. I've transitioned enough to know that it's rough in the beginning, but then it falls into place, and before we know it, we've developed a new net and a new life for ourselves. That's the incredible thing about change - mostly, we don't realize that our lives are better or worse, until they just are.
And so, I'm starting this journey, decisively stepping forward, but never forgetting to look back and remember where I came from, the ideals that I hold dear, and the family and friends whom I love with all of my heart.
--Catch